PnF - Everything Wrong With Series
by Carloj25
Summary: It's literally what the title says. A complete parody of Cinema Sins' "Everything Wrong With" Series, but in Fan Fiction and it is targeting my favorite cartoon. (Or everyone's favorite cartoon in this category.) Rated T to be safe.


EWW - PnF "Act Your Age"

Everything Wrong With…

Act Your Age…

Within possibly a few minutes or less..

SPOILERS!

(Like it was obvious to say)

**Dan and Swampy just wanted to kill time by simply just making them explain the whole sequence of this episode. **

_**Sin Count: 1**_

_(Teenage Phineas and Ferb are relaxing on their beds in their room.)_

**Ok, I know it's way too soon to do this, but I'm taking off a sin just because Teen Phineas and Ferb absolutely look amazing.**

_**Sin Count: 0**_

_(Phineas walks over to a booth which contains numerous college acceptance letters)_

**Phineas**: Oh, cool! All my college acceptance letters! I guess we're gonna let fate decide this one.

**When the hell did he get a whole bunch of college letters? What, is he really THAT famous all over Danville?**

_**Sin Count: 1**_

**Also, when the hell AND how the hell did they get that booth? Well, if you say that Phineas and Ferb made this, that would totally be understandable. But still, how and when?**

_**Sin Count: 2**_

**Phineas**: Okay. Comedy Traffic School. Well, if it's fate...

_(Ferb pushes the button a third time.)_

**Phin, You are not suitable for making jokes. Remember, "Your not very Street."**

_**Sin Count: 3**_

Baljeet:_ (in a deep voice)_ Hey, guys. _(he coughs and returns to his normal voice)_ Oh! Something was caught in my throat. So, still trying to figure out where to go to school?

**Wha..? How the..? Why the…? No matter, this gets 5 sins for just that specific reason!**

_**Sin Count: 8**_

**Baljeet**: I was just giving Buford some pointers on collegiate life. Since I've already graduated and have been accepted as a professor, I could pull some strings and get him into my school. Just think, Buford. You could be my student! I would be the boss of you!

**Another sin removed due to how stylin' Buford looks.**

_**Sin Count: 7**_

**Buford**: Don't get too excited. I'm going to film school. I'm concentrating' on tragedies. The story of a struggling orphan's transcendental search for meaning in a post-apocalyptic society.

**Baljeet**: It sounds pretentious.

**How? Granted it does kinda sound weird, but I wouldn't say it's pretentious.**

_**Sin Count: 8**_

**Candace**: And that concludes my dissertation on modern investigative techniques for establishing proof of guilt with or without physical evidence.

_(The panel gives her a standing ovation.)_

**Huh.. for once, Candace actually does something useful for her past failures and becomes a lawyer. Not only does it grab inspiration and pure evidence, but, I think it just works. **

**That was a No Sin one, The real sin:**

**Male panelist**: Spectacular! I've never had a student convince me of something so completely baseless before!

**Female panelist**: Now I feel like busting someone.

**You can't seriously just feel like you wanna bust someone after a student gives you this standing ovation.**

_**Sin Count: 9**_

**Phineas**: Yeah, I don't know if Candace's school is the place for me. Forget the booth. I'm gonna go with my gut. _(takes two envelopes)_ It's between these two: Danville U and Tri-State State. Both really good schools. Looks like I have some thinking to do.

**Buford**: Hey, the epic struggle of a triangle-headed boy to choose between two schools.

**Baljeet**: Pretentious alert.

**Again, how?**

_**Sin Count: 10**_

**Also, that's not really a fitting moral of a story, that's just life problems. You can't simply just grab something out of what you have heard like 5 seconds ago. It, just doesn't really work.**

_**Sin Count: 11**_

_(At th__e OWCA Headquarters a red light and alert go off, and a teenage Irving, no__w an OWCA intern, turns around to notice it. Irving dusts off the picture underneath the red light to reveal a picture of Doofenshmirtz.)_

**Woah, Irving totally looks so mature right now. And let's not forget that he's an O.W.C.A intern. But, is he an Unpaid Intern? The.. show never really confirms it.**

_**Sin Count: 12**_

**Also, I forgot to mention this with Candace, but this is the only time that we get to see him. Not that I don't like him, but I really think he's an interesting guy. At one point, he just shows up in the show and then never seen again. Just like that. I mean it's totally understandable for Monogram and Carl, because all they do is give Perry his assignment and that's it. Nothing else, but the main characters like Candace, and some side characters like Irving? Yeah, it really doesn't make sense. I'll just add 2 sins for this sight of confusion.**

_**Sin Count: 14**_

**Irving**: Well, sir, he's gone to a better place.

**Commander Carl**: Yeah... _(beat)_

**Wait, he died?**

**Commander Carl: **Oh, what the heck? I'm gonna call him! _(Carl dials the phone. Monogram, now retired and older, with a beard and a Hawaiian shirt is lounging on a beach.)_

***sigh* You really made me think that the dude died. 3 Sins.**

_**Sin Count: 17 (Because that was not a funny joke)**_

**Monogram**: Monogram.

**Commander Carl**: How ya been, sir?

**Monogram**: Carl! I'm great! Bora Bora really is a better place.

**Umm… when did you get to Bora Bora? Granted, it takes place 10 years from now, so maybe after 7 years he decided to go to that place. But still, when and how?**

_**Sin Count: 18**_

**Commander Carl**: Agent P... _(Agent P picks up his bowling bag.)_ No, it's not bowling night! It's Doofenshmirtz.

**Wait, when did he started bowling?**

_**Sin Count: 19**_

**Also, when did Perry got the time to set up his rest spot? Don't cha' think it's odd for an anthropomorphic platypus to not only set up all of this, but takes a rest on a chair in which, btw, completely shows his identity? It just screams odd to me.**

_**Sin Count: 20**_

**Commander Carl**: He's activated the -inator alert system. We think he may have returned to evil.

**How can you easily confirm that he returned to evil? He hasn't made an inator for like the past 10 years, and he's a science teacher. It's not easy to easily confirm it.**

_**Sin Count: 21**_

_(Perry gets a worried reaction, then puts on his fedora and jet pack. He blasts off of the tree in Phineas and Ferb's backyard that had been serving as his retirement location)_

**We interrupt Phineas and Ferb to bring you Quantum Boogaloo. (oh wait…)**

_**Sin Count: 22**_

**Buford**: _(looking in the fridge)_ Why do parents buy such weird food? Everything's 'lite', 'low', 'non', 'free', or 'diet'.

**Hey, if anything. It can give you a balanced meal.**

_**Sin Count: 23**_

**Phineas**: So she's...leaving?

**Baljeet**: Yes. Huh, I always thought the two of you would end up together.

**Phineas**: I wish. I am so in the friend zone there.

**Baljeet**: You are kidding, right? You do know she had a giant crush on you for ages.

**Phineas**: Uh...no...

**Buford**: Oh, come on! It was so obvious! She came over to your house every day for eleven years just to see what you were doin'!

**Baljeet**: When she looked at you, her pupils actually formed little hearts. Like, I do not know how that is physically possible. She changed her eyeballs!

**Phineas**: We— I don't believe it. Ferb? _(Ferb nods.) _Well, why didn't you guys ever tell me?

**They didn't wanna tell you because they wanted you to figure it out at your own pace. But you were oblivious to the obvious hints she was giving to you, yet she still tried for the past 10 Years. You think she would move on, but she didn't.**

_**Sin Count: 24**_

**Also, she once did it before. Twice in this series. I mean, sure.. Across the 2nd Dimension wouldn't count because they were hit by the Amnesia-Inator, and Night of the Living Pharmacist wouldn't count as well because they, yet again, forget in the end. So far, every time Phineas gets a hint, he forgets.. Like.. seriously, what the f***?**

_**Sin Count: 25**_

**Baljeet**: We are guys. We do not talk about feelings. _(Buford shrugs in agreement)_

**I'm pretty much sure Baljeet talks about feelings in "Hide and Seek". I mean, he did mention that in one point.**

_**Sin Count: 26**_

**Phineas**: Um, I'm sorry. I feel like my brain is broken.

**Your head is a shape of a triangle. Why wouldn't your brain be broken?**

_**Sin Count: 27**_

_Doofenshmirtz Mmm-Mmm Incorporated!_

**So it's still the same building, but it removed the "evil" part in it. If anything, it should be called Doofenshmirtz Inc.. Just like that.**

_**Sin Count: 28**_

**Doofenshmirtz**: Perry the Platypus? Eh, is it Thursday already? Hmm, well, let me go get my shoes and my ball and then...

**Again, I said this with Perry, I'll say it with you. When did you started bowling?**

_**Sin Count: 29**_

**Doofenshmirtz: **Oh, no that's not evil, so, so I don't think it counts. Oh, wait a minute. Did I set off the -inator alert? Oh, that is so funny. Probably scared the heck out of Commander Carl, huh?

**I wouldn't say scared the heck out of him, but more so shocked him. **

_**Sin Count: 30**_

**Also, for something that is so Intimidating and not calling it evil, it kinda begs to differ why the old Doc made this in the first place.**

_**Sin Count: 31**_

**(Song: "Mid-Life Crisis")**

**-4 Sins for this creation of the song.**

_**Sin Count: 27**_

**Doofenshmirtz**: So just let me get this thing charged up and we'll be on our way. _(Doof puts on some shades and covers Perry's eyes and pushes the button and gets the chain.)_ Ready? _(He puts the chain around his neck and gets electrocuted. Perry walks offscreen to get a defibrillator, but Doof comes to when Perry arrives.)_

**Ok, how does one do that for a sheer amount of seconds but then comes back to reality easily like that? Look at Perry, he bought a defibrillator cause he thought the doc just died like that, but then he comes back to reality in a sheer snap. Like… what?**

_**Sin Count: 28**_

**Doofenshmirtz: **Wow, I feel pretty energized! I wanna do something exciting and fun and...and also incredibly stupid! Come on, Perry the Platypus, let's go have an adventure.

_(As Doof walks off, Perry looks at the camera with a concerned look.)_

**Perry, your breaking the 4th wall.**

_**Sin Count: 29**_

**Ginger**: Yeah, we're at odds deciding what movie to see later. He wants to go to the one about that planet and I want to see the one with that guy.

**Adyson**: Well, don't fight about it. Manipulate the situation!

**Holly**: Manip-the-wha-?

**Manipulate the situation. Did you not hear Adyson the 1st time?**

_**Sin Count: 30**_

**Adyson**: _(sighs)_ Okay, ladies, listen up. Pretend you don't care about your movie, but then hint that it's playing at the theatre next to the fro-yo place _he_ likes. The seed is planted, and he'll think it's his idea to go there.

**How would you know that will work?**

**Ginger**: Hey hey! Baljeet says okay to my movie!

**Adyson**: Mm-hmm. Works every time.

**Huh… weird.**

_**Sin Count: 31**_

**Gretchen**: It's too bad Isabella and Phineas never got together.

**Holly**: Yeah, I always thought they were meant for each other.

**Yeah, it's not just you, it's the fans from all over the universe that thought that they were meant for each other. And by "All" I mean the shippers.**

_**Sin Count: 32**_

_(In living room Ferb, Baljeet and Buford are eating sandwiches. Baljeet receives Ginger's text.)_

**Buford**: Ginger texting you again?

**Baljeet**: Yes. The girls want to get Phineas and Isabella together.

**Buford**: Wasn't that our idea?

**Yes, yes it was.**

_**Sin Count: 33**_

**Doofenshmirtz**: Woo hoo hoo hoo! How's the dye job holding up, Perry the Platypus?! Isn't this great?! If I had known it was this much fun— _(Doofenshmirtz smashes into sailboat.)_ Hey, this is one of those fancy sailing yachts!

**That doesn't look so fancy to me.**

_**Sin Count: 34**_

**Doofenshmirtz**: We could sail around the world in this thing! We could, we could visit exotic ports, fight pirates! We'd be like a couple of seafaring Huck Finns and the ocean would be our ho–! _(The boat sinks, and Doof's black hair dye evaporates. He gets back up.)_

**For a second there I thought the ocean turned red.**

_**Sin Count: 35**_

**Phineas**: Here, let me get that for you, Nana Shapiro.

**Nana Shapiro**: Phineas Flynn! Oh, look at you, so tall and handsome! You're going to college I hear! Oh, how time flies.

**She's right if you think about it that way.**

_**Sin Count: 36**_

**Nana Shapiro**: Isabella came over to say goodbye this morning. She's off to—

**Phineas**: This morning? But her school doesn't start for two more weeks!

**Nana Shapiro**: Oh, honey, didn't you know? She's leaving today!

**Wait.. today? Did.. uh.. Did Baljeet or the FireSide Girls knew? I know that they we're planning the date with the two, but, did they know it was TODAY that she was leaving? If so, then making the dinner date was pretty much pointless.**

_**Sin Count: 37**_

**Phineas**: _(a pried pause)_ I— You're right. Thanks! _(he runs off)_

**Nana Shapiro**: The restaurant is _that_ way! _(She points in the diction opposite of where Phineas ran)_

**Phineas**: Thanks again! _(He runs off in the other direction)_

_**Sin Count: 38**_

**Adyson**: And when we get them to come back here and see it and each other, they're bound to fall madly in love like they were always meant to be!

**Ferb**: You know, you can't force these things.

**You know, when you think about it, Ferb IS indeed right. Love is sacred. It really can't be forced, yet Adyson thinks otherwise. **

_**Sin Count: 39**_

**Gretchen**: When they first walk in, we'll play the songs I put on this playlist. They're all about love, and it will trigger them to start thinking about love. Then we have these streamers and balloons in both of their favorite colors, which will stimulate the romantic centers of their brains making them think about love.

**Katie**: What if it doesn't?

**Buford**: Well, then, we have this sign. _(He holds up a sign saying: "Think about love.")_

**How does that work?**

_**Sin Count: 40**_

**Doofenshmirtz**: All right! _(he speeds off)_ Woohoo! Yeehaw! _(Perry gets a worried look, as the car crashes and Doof returns with only the steering wheel.)_ So, what else ya got?

**Umm, Doof, you just went around out of town driving all willy nilly and just crashed a vehicle. Either dead or alive, you should be dead.**

_**Sin Count: 41**_

**Buford**: No way! I'm not puttin' that stupid cupid costume on again!

**Baljeet**: But it worked so well for me and Mishti!

**Ginger**: _(jealously)_ Hoo, Mishti, Mishti, Mishti!

**Adyson**: Let it go, Ging.

**Typical jealousy stuff.**

_**Sin Count: 42**_

**Doofenshmirtz**: I think the turbo kicks in when it revs abo— _(Perry gets another worried look on his face)_ Whoa! _(The car speeds through an intersection and crashes into a dumpster.)_ Oh, oh! Oh, it's okay, we're fine! But we do seem to have picked up a passenger!

**That's not a passenger, that's a dumpster.**

_**Sin Count: 43**_

**(Song: "What Might Have Been")**

**Minus 3 sins. Just, minus 3.. **

_**Sin Count: 40**_

_(Back in the backyard.)_

**Ginger**: It's good, but...

**Baljeet**: It's still missing something.

_(Ferb puts a vase on the table, and everyone compliments about how nice it looks.)_

**Where did he get that?**

_**Sin Count: 41**_

**Baljeet**: _(he looks behind him)_ Um, guys?

_(All the girls look at the empty backyard.)_

**Katie**: Wow! Now it's _exactly_ like it was when we were kids!

**Even up to THIS day, the things these kids do are always taken away by the things Doofenshmirtz does.**

_**Sin Count: 42**_

**Doofenshmirtz**: You know what would be really impulsive? If you and me went out and did a little evil, just the two of us. _(Perry slaps him in the face.)_

**Thank you Perry for reminding Doof that he retired from evil and moved on to a science teacher. Like, really.. He just gave up evil after the last day of summer. Should I personally bother?**

_**Sin Count: 43 **_

**Jump Instructor**: You want to know the best part about being a jump instructor?

**Doofenshmirtz**: What?

_(The jump instructor pushes him out of the plane. Perry tips his hat to her and follows him.)_

**3 Sins for being a dick.**

_**Sin Count: 46**_

**Lawrence**: Linda! I don't know what's come over me, but I'm starting to get the most wild and uninhibited ideas! You know how every day for the last twenty years I've relaxed with a nice cup of Earl Grey? Well, not today, Linda! Today, I'm putting out all the stops! Darjeeling!

**Linda**: You... are a madman

**Well, she is not wrong on that. I bet Earl Grey just simply relaxes you with a tad bit of Caffeine, and the Darjeeling can like, boost up you entity up like at a level of 10. Not 20, 10.**

_**Sin Count: 47**_

_(Phineas walks by the Garcia-Shapiro residence. He stops and stands there for a while. A Hightail Delivery truck drives past and Phineas sees Isabella sitting on the stoop of his house. He walks over to her.)_

**Phineas**: _(to Isabella)_ Whatcha doin'? Heh heh.

**She's not really doing anything, tbh. All she has been doing is sitting down on that step for like the few mere minutes just to say farewell.**

_**Sin Count: 48**_

**Also, wasn't she leaving Danville to go to Tri-State-State? How did she get to the Flynn-Fletcher residence in like the next 5 minutes? **

_**Sin Count: 49**_

**Phineas**: You know, Baljeet said something funny. He said you had a crush on me back in grade school.

**Isabella**: Oh. Yeah. I had a big crush on you.

**Phineas**: Wow...I had no idea.

**So Phin just Admits the fact that he was so Clueless for like the past 10 Years. Wow, not only everyone but even someone like Phineas even knows that he was Oblivious.**

_**Sin Count: 50**_

**Phineas**: Absolutely clueless. Sorry.

**Isabella**: I sort of gave up when we got to high school.

**Phineas**: Yeah... I think that's when I started to have a thing for you.

_(Isabella looks up in sudden realization.)_

**You know, I don't blame Phin for starting to **_**like-like**_** her since they got into high school. Sometimes boys can have feelings in grade school, sometimes in high school. But, in high school, there's a major difference. Trust me. I would know because I've experienced something like this before. It's easy to fall in love with someone in Grade School. You ask them if they can hang out with you and that's that. In High School, however, there's a big difference. It's the same thing, but sometimes they fear rejection or can be stuck in a love triangle. If someone rejects you, boom, heartbroken. It's that simple. Hard, but simple.**

_**Sin Count: 52**_

**Isabella**: Well, that's unfortunate timing.

**Phineas**: Yep. You're off to college.

**Isabella**: Tri-State State. Have you decided where you're going yet?

**Phineas**: _(gets out his letters)_ You know what? I just did. _(He gives her one of the envelopes.)_

**Isabella**: Oh. Huh.

**Phineas**: Hey, what's wro- Oh, shoot! _(takes the letter from her)_ I'm sorry. Wrong letter. _(He gives her the correct one.)_

**Boy, imagine if Phin really WAS going to Danville U. Things would never be the same.**

_**Sin Count: 53**_

_(Applause is heard coming from Baljeet and the girls.)_

**Umm.. were you there the whole time? Cause sudden or not, personal space people!**

_**Sin Count: 54**_

**Baljeet**: _(laughs)_ We have been trying to get you two together all day!

**Phineas**: You guys are the best!

**Buford**: _(dressed as cupid again)_ So what did I miss?

**Buford, don't get me started on asking.**

_**Sin Count: 55**_

_(Isabella and Phineas hold each other's hands and embrace. Their smiles slowly fade, however, but then return as they both blush.)_

**Umm.. were you guys gonna do something there?**

_**Sin Count: 56**_

**Ferb**: So, Tri-State State, huh? Good choice.

_(A car is heard honking. Wide shot to reveal Vanessa driving the yellow sports car Doof bought from earlier.)_

**Wait, did Dr. Doof gave her daughter that car? Cause after making a hard turn while shaking off that Dumpster, we NEVER see that car he bought again. How did he give it to Vanessa? What time and WHERE did they meet?**

_**Sin Count: 57**_

_(Vanessa pulls her car up next to Isabella's, who is stopped at a stoplight. Phineas gets out of the backseat and the music begins to swell dramatically.)_

**Isabella**: Phineas? _(She gets out of the car)_ What are you doing?

**Phineas**: This. _(He kisses her, and she kisses back)_

**Well, minus 1 sin for this cuteness of a scene**

_**Sin Count: 56**_

**But add 2 because, how on earth can a Triangular boy and a Half Semi-Circle Girl kiss? Geometry is a cruel mystery with love.**

_**Sin Count: 58**_

**Vanessa**: I never knew she had a thing for him.

**I could get how Vanessa would know, but how, when and where did she hear this? If she was told by Ferb at some point in the timeline, then yeah, understandable, but when and where?**

_**Sin Count: 59**_

**Isabella**: Well, that was worth the wait.

**Phineas**: Yes. Yes it was. _(They kiss again.)_

**Hey, I hate to break your love fluff, but YOUR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! HURRY UP ALREADY!**

_**Sin Count: 60**_

**Also, I just noticed this, Isabella, opens the window and then opens the door. Umm.. why would she do so? It screams odd to me.**

_**Sin Count: 61**_

_(Swampy takes off his glasses and begins to sob uncontrollably.)_

**Jeff "Swampy" Marsh**: _(sobbing)_ I can't believe it! It seems like only yesterday we were drawing our first doodles of these kids on the place mats of that...

**Dan Povenmire**: _(consoling Swampy)_ Yeah, I, I know, it's a... It's a sweet episode.

**Jeff "Swampy" Marsh**: Now they're, they're growing up... and going to college...

**Dan Povenmire**: But it's... It is really... It's just a cartoon.

**Yeah, Dan. Tell him that in front of millions of watchers sitting in their living rooms watching T.V.**

_**Sin Count: 62**_

**Dan Povenmire**: _(offscreen)_ Oh, get a grip, Swampy!

**Hey dude. I don't blame you for stopping him to cry, but. Dude, this is everyone's F**king childhood. The show ended like 4 years ago and there are people who still love it either way, why would ANYONE get a grip to everyone's favorite T.V. Show that lasted for 8 Years?**

_**Sin Count: 63**_

**FINAL SIN COUNT: 063**

**SENTENCE: Making a story within 5 seconds.**

**Baljeet**: Pretentious alert.

**Buford**: And again, thank you.


End file.
